everything else

In less than a month I’ll be at the Austin Film Festival, where I will once again attempt to balance seeing friends and schmoozing, which will result in some terrible hits to my liver.

The schedule for AFF just went up and it’s so very exciting! Are you the kind of person who would attend a film/tv writer conference? Do you go to AFF? If not, you must change that immediately, as this thing is awesome. So here’s where you can find me at the festival, and what to do (and, perhaps more importantly, not do) when you get there.

PS: the “what to do when you get there” is advice you can follow for attending most festivals/conferences.

This one has a surprise ending.

So here’s what my mother didn’t know: that months ago I’d asked the Orient Express travel agent if she could help me make even more of Mom’s dreams come true. If you don’t remember, Mom wanted to sit in the bar car of the Orient Express, drinking a pink squirrel while listening to them play “Sentimental Journey.”

I wanted you to know that I’m about to start working on the next installment of Mother on the Orient Express. Some of you are new readers since the last time I wrote about it, so I figured I’d catch you up/prep you with links. We are reaching this trip’s one-year anniversary, which blows my mind. Where did this year go?

Full disclosure: I thought it was going to be stupid.

Hey, Mitch.

I heard that skinny blonde bitch you left me for was Patient Zero. Way to fucking go, dude. Nice environment to expose our daughter to. And speaking of Jory, thanks for keeping her during the whole “Mitch is in Quarantine” time. That sounds like a fantastic idea. Why not force her to live in a place where everybody just died of a mysterious, seemingly unstoppable, uncurable illness? Did you even Purell that shit before you had her sleeping in Clark’s old bed? I bet not.

“Well, they canceled my Closer, so I don’t know what I’m going to watch now.”